I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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