singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
