We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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