So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize