Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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