just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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