You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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