I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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