Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
