She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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