he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
