went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
