Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize