Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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