is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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