belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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