hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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