did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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