goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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