Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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