why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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