how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
