And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
