Everything about him screamed your future.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
