just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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