i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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