i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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