summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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