I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
