According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
