That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
