I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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