So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
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I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
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Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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