When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
