I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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