And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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