she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
