Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
