I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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