I just cut my nipple shaving
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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