we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
