It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize