I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
