I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
you made out with another girl for some wings