dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
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You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.