when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight