I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
