It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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