I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.