im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
