You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
