You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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