He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
