I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
