Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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