my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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