I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
