So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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