ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
