At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
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What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
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it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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