I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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