She is in my trunk
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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