He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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