No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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