I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
