I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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