I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
